Hi everyone.. Hope you are all doing well. For those of you that regularly check in here I apologise for my silence of late. On top of computer related issues being a pain in the ass, things have been very emotionally tough for me this past week or so. Suffice to say that I have not been in the mood to blog – I have been reading your blogs as always, but have not always commented as I usually do. Anyway, I am in the mood for writing now and so I here I am.
I am now at 24 weeks pregnant, which means I am well over halfway there. We went for another detailed scan today and again things are looking great. We had a few glimpses of 4D, but my little girl is either very shy or very naughty as she had anything she could possibly find shielding her face – both hands and feet, the cord and the placenta was in the way too! From what I did see she is an absolute beauty, knobbly alien head and all!
For Steven and I, going for these detailed scans – or fetal assessments as they are called – is a bittersweet experience. The little room we have the scan in is the exact room that we were in when we were told of all the issues that Sarah would have. We remember vividly the look on the doctor’s face when they discovered something wrong – that look of dread and pity. Even now that we have been for two we are still studying her face carefully and with trepidation, in case the relaxed smile turns into something else. Also in that room I had the procedure called cordiocentesis – that day was the worst one of my life – being told there may be a serious problem, and then having to keep dead still while a long needle is inserted into your pregnant belly – it has to be inserted exactly into the umbillical cord at the entry – there is not margin for error. Having to lie still while going through a storm of emotions and feeling your baby kicking you in distress does not a pleasant experience make. I am sure some of you are wondering why we would go back there – there are other places we can go. Well, after the experience we had with Sarah, we trust these doctors more than anyone else. We know that being armed with the information that we had saved our daughter’s life, and that is why we would not go anywhere else. If there is something wrong, I know they will see it and we will have a plan of action in place for the day of her birth, like we did with Sarah. And as you all know, all’s well that ends well – our Sarah is a healthy, strong, gorgeously cute and happy little imp. The reward of having her far outweighs the drama we experienced.
But, our little girl is growing beautifully in the womb – they are still extremely happy with her and everything is ok. We have one more assessment to do at 30 weeks, when her little bowel will be fully operational – this is just a precautionary measure to be 100% sure that it is in working order. Also, with my placenta out of the way, the 4D scan will be more successful.
I am beyond excited to meet this little mystery girl. She moves so much inside me, always reminding me that she is there – and I do need reminding. One’s second pregnancy is not as leisurely and relaxing as the first. There is no option to go and have a three hour nap in the middle of the day or just relax and put your feet up when you have a busy toddler demanding constant amusement. How I wish I had treasured those moments more and not taken them for granted. I can’t wait to see if she will look a lot or a little or nothing at all like her big sister. I can’t wait to get to know her personality and mannerisms. And most of all I really can’t wait to have a little newborn to hold again – this time around I will appreciate that more too – and hopefully I will get to have her at home for the first 6 weeks of her life, rather than have to go and visit her in the hospital. I know it will be hard and I will be tired, but I am going to try my best to cope and ask for help when I need it. Sarah will be going to a small creche in the mornings as from January, which I know a lot of people don’t approve of – but I have my reasons and I know that they are the right ones for my little girl. I will of course be devastated when the time comes (nothing has made me more aware of what a control freak I really am than having a child), but what I am very happy about is that when the new little one arrives, I will be able to spend at least a little time each day bonding with her and giving her my undivided attention, as I have been able to do with Sarah.
I am feeling really healthy and good in this pregnancy. I am getting very tired and uncomfortable but not to an extent that I can’t manage. I have started doing some prenatal/restorative yoga, which I hope to do more regularly. (Thanks Caz – just the one session has been more beneficial to me than you know). So, although other areas of my life are extremely tough at the moment, I am actually very content and happy on the whole. Being pregnant is such a wonderful experience and I am very grateful for it.
I hope that you all have a good week – lots of love to you all xxx